Tips 4 You

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." -- Oliver Goldsmith

Very few people recommend lying, but you might have your reasons. Whether you're an investigative journalist going undercover or you're being asked for your opinion on a horrendous bridesmaid dress that's already been paid for, the key to convincing someone you're telling the truth is to strike a good balance between fact and fiction. Ask yourself: "Who is more blameworthy, the liar or the believer in lies?"


Decide if what you are lying about is worth the effort and the potential consequences. It is a personal decision. You need to be realistic with yourself. It is easy to become a compulsive liar and ruin your life. Under what circumstances are you willing to risk damaging relationships, reputation, and future opportunities and do the benefits of telling the lie outweigh the risks?

If you know you're going to have to lie, think of some specific true thing (place, person, event, story) that your lie will fit into and use those details if you are questioned. This gives you a bank of specific details to draw on so you don't have to keep making things up as you go along. The more things you have to lie about to support your original lie, the more likely you are to be tripped up. Lying is a bit like chess--you must always think ahead.

Anticipate what the person you're lying to is going to ask, and be prepared with a response.

Force yourself to believe your lie is truth. This will make you naturally act as if you were telling the truth. The trick is convincing your sub-conscious mind that you're telling the truth. An example of this may be, "Did I wreck the car? Well, I drove it into a wall. So, the wall wrecked the car. I just moved it!" In the immortal words of George Costanza, "It's not a lie if you believe it."

Slide the lie into a casual conversation. It's better to lie to the person in advance than have him question you later on the same topic. That way, the victim's mind has hours, possibly days to fill in the blanks, and if he/she does come back to question the story, you'll have a much easier time as your victim starts in on you. If the victim discovers your misdeed before you explain yourself, they'll have time to deduce what has happened with a certain degree of certainty before they ever even question you.

Look the person you are lying to in the eye. Don't look around. There are many subliminal messages people send when lying. Learn what they are and how to avoid them. Most professional lie detectors (e.g. law enforcement professionals) know what they are, and you should, too. The cops will make small talk with you to establish what your "normal" behaviors are. When they get down to the serious subject matter, they look for deviances in behavior. Polygraph machines work the same way.

Practice lying in front a mirror or video camera. Observe your facial expressions. Try making your eyes go big and letting your mouth hang open a little for an innocent/shocked look. Also, practice looking like you're holding back tears. When you smile, show your teeth a little and crinkle up your eyes and cheeks. This is a 'sincere' smile, an ear-to-ear one.

Make a truthful admission. If you sense that someone else suspects you of lying, admit to something small or untrue. They will take the bait and think that that is all you were lying about.

Follow through. Never forget about your lie, and treat it like it actually happened. Mention it in conversations the way you would if it was true. Silence about a certain subject can arouse suspicion, especially in retrospect.

Telling a lie is a lot like story telling; take the original concept and expand on it as necessary. Always keep the lie believable and simple. Add detail but not too much. Too many details are an obvious indicator of a liar.

People are likely to believe your lies if you are telling them what they want to hear. Politicians and cheating spouses tell these kinds of lies all the time.

The best practice is watching how you tell the truth, and imitating that. If you tap your feet or fidget during your lies, make sure to do it a little before and after your lie to make it seem less suspicious.

Learn to relax your muscles on command. Actors do this to overcome stage fright.

Don't search your opponent's face for clues as to whether or not they believe you. This is usually very obvious to them.

Don't be too defensive if you are accused of lying.

If lying is really just too difficult, try what some consider the "Elven Way of Lying." In other words, omit certain truths to imply something without directly saying a falsity. By using this method, the person you are lying to is technically "jumping to conclusions," so if you ever have to go back on what you say you can blame it on misinterpretation by the other person.

If you are going to lie to a teacher, a good thing to do is to mention the lie (as if it were the truth) to someone before or afterward. For example: If you did not do an English paper be sure to talk to a person in the class about it before the class and compare answers. This way when your teacher asks "Where is your paper?" you can say "I looked for it, but I can't find it." Chances are if the person you talked to before is a friend they'll back you up.

It may be helpful to become known as a sarcastic person. This way, if you ever get caught in a small lie, you can tell people you were being sarcastic and thought they knew that. Also, it is easier to lie if you do not think about yourself as a liar. If you are sarcastic, often you think of your lies as objects of witty sarcasm that someone believes.

Learn to cry on demand. Real tears are very convincing.

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